


a lover with the candour of a friend

by ivermectin



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Alternate Universe - God Help The Girl (2014), Alternate Universe - I'll Have to Dance with Cassie Music Video, Angst with a Happy Ending, Banter, Blair is a Musician / Singer-Songwriter, Canon-typical Blair Waldorf Manhandling, Eating Disorder, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, No spoilers for the movie, POV Dan Humphrey, Pining, Song Lyrics, Vanessa Abrams is a Good Friend, the serenate is in the background but it's THERE, to be specific
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28985517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivermectin/pseuds/ivermectin
Summary: Unbidden, Dan remembers the first time she’d gone all Broadway actress on him, singing to him, pushing him into his armchair and pressing her hands against his face. It was all he could do to keep strumming his guitar, while she sang, and sang, and sang, sang like something was unfurling inside her and she needed to open a window, let it all out.
Relationships: Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, Nate Archibald/Serena van der Woodsen, Vanessa Abrams & Dan Humphrey
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	a lover with the candour of a friend

**Author's Note:**

> this exists because I watched God Help the Girl today, and the scene where Eve sings this song left me feeling a lot of feelings, so I wanted to do something with those feelings. The thing that made me choose to write this though is that ... Eve legit kicked James in the chest (gently), and James laughed, and i was like. that's _Dan and Blair._
> 
> Song lyrics are italicized and centred ---> nothing that's in italics & formatted to be in the centre was written by me.  
> yes, this is a songfic. yes, i'm proud of it. yeah, if you want to watch the video / listen to the song that inspired this (please watch the video, you will not regret it, and it's cute even if you haven't watched the movie / don't want to watch the movie.) i'll throw links in end notes.  
> proceed!!

There’s the sound of a solitary chord echoing through the club, and Dan shifts from where he’s at the booth, having just sent Serena a note that says “come here asap” via Vanessa and Ruby’s little dog whom they'd trained to take messages one summer when they were in middle school. He looks up, startled, to see Blair at the stage. She grins at him, raising an eyebrow, holding the mic, and she breaks into song with the sort of effusive happiness she always seems to have on stage.

_Just another Saturday  
The boys are dressed up fine_

She’s looking at Dan, mischief in her eyes. Dan, barely aware of what he’s doing, begins to walk through the dance floor up to the stage, slowly, feeling like he’s swimming through treacle. And Blair’s smiling, wearing red. The room is full of people; but she’s all he sees.

_Think I'll wait 'till half past eight  
To dress myself divine_

Blair smiles, still looking at Dan. Dan’s frozen in place now, mouth half open, because Blair’s completely in her element, and he wants to reach out for her, to touch her, to lean into her space and sing with her, turn her solo into a duet into a love song, but he can’t do that, he can’t do that here, here in her space, a song that belongs to Blair more than to anyone else.

_Ten thirty, I'm in rags  
A slutty look accompanies my questionable gaze  
Through the strobe light and the haze _

She sings the lyric while biting her lip and licking her lips with clear intent, looking at Dan like she’s hungry and he’s the only edible item in the room. Dan gulps, glad he hadn’t brought a drink, because his hands are certainly not steady enough to hold anything.

_Take an interest in me  
Why must I beg for a drink?_

Still, he starts walking forward, like she’s a siren, or the brightest light in the room and he’s lost without her, pulled into her orbit.

_Too verbose  
You come too close, Sir_

Blair’s clearly delighted by the opportunity to insult Dan in her song, but when he gets close enough to her to put his arms around her, in a flamboyant move that’s part ballerina and part pole dancer, she puts her stiletto on his chest, heel right above his heart, gently kicking.

_Please step back and think_

It doesn’t hurt, in fact it makes Dan laugh, and she smiles back at him, like it’s an inside joke, which it is. Unbidden, he remembers the first time she’d gone all Broadway actress on him, singing to him, pushing him into his armchair and pressing her hands against his face. It was all Dan could do to keep strumming his guitar, while she sang, and sang, and sang, sang like something was unfurling inside her and she needed to open a window, let it all out. 

Blair’s hit the pre-chorus, now. Dan’s never heard this one of hers before, but he can tell it’s the pre-chorus because he’s familiar enough with her music, and with the way her mind works. The crescendo hits as Blair declares dream boys non-existent, and then the music pauses.

_A lover with the candour of a friend_

Blair’s voice is strong, yet delicate, but she isn’t looking at Dan, she’s looking in the crowd, and Dan follows her gaze, sees Serena running in, her blonde hair flying all about her like a golden halo. They’re smiling at each other, but Dan thinks about it, about what he wants to be to Blair, about how he wants to be her boyfriend and how he is already her best friend, how he never believed in soulmates, and then he’d gotten into a fistfight with Chuck at that live show, and Chuck had broken his guitar, and then he’d seen Blair sitting by the stairs, looking like the saddest girl in the world.

Dan understood that. He felt like the saddest boy in the world, after all.

“You’re the guy from the fight,” Blair had said.

“My guitar got it worse,” Dan had replied, self-desecrating to the bone. He’d then asked her if she was okay, and she hadn’t even bothered trying to say yes.

Now, Blair’s on the dance floor, still singing, as she reaches out for Serena, whose delighted giggling is a melody of its own.

_I run away  
They're playing a decent song at last  
I think I'll have to dance with Cassie  
'Cause the dream boy never asked_

“I’m Cassie?” Serena asks, laughing.

Blair doesn’t stop singing, but she nods, beaming, nudging Serena away and heading back up to the stage, but not before she sings the second half of the chorus, comparing Cassie’s dancing to a kangaroo. Serena takes it in good cheer, letting loose a whoop, while everyone else on the dance floor also cheers.

Dan watches as Blair makes eye-contact with Nate, who’s watching Serena the same way Dan’s been watching Blair all evening. Nate looks like the heartache is giving him a tangible physical pain, and Dan can understand that. Of course he can.

Blair gestures at Serena, and Nate walks over to her, offering her a hand like a gentleman. Serena bats the hand away, laughing, grabbing Nate by the elbows and pulling him against her, taking the lead in some truly chaotic dancing, the sort of dancing that’s truly fun for the dancers but terrible to look at, except it’s Serena and Nate, so they make even bad dancing look good.

_They know the dance too well  
The bodies heavenly  
Move around the autumn sky  
With measured dignity_

Dan sighs, stands up a little straighter, decides he’s going to try his luck at joining Blair up on stage.

_But my Venus and my Mars  
Are set to flash  
The lover will lay down his sword and swear  
He don't exist_

He backs out last minute, sits down next to Vanessa, who’s playing the piano. Blair’s singing a line that lingers like a tensile structure, the notes elegant and deliberate and weighted.

_A brother to me when the chips were down_

Dan looks away, even as he plays chords with a flourish. Vanessa lifts her foot from the piano pedal, kicks his shin.

“What is it today, every girl kicks Dan Humphrey day?” Dan grumbles.

“Talk to her,” Vanessa insists. “This torch you’re carrying is just making you miserable.”

Blair’s singing the second chorus, and Dan feels like a balloon, buoyant and floating, lightheaded, untethered.

_I run away  
They're playing a decent song at last  
I think I'll have to dance with Cassie  
'Cause the dream boy never asked_

“I’m so out of depth, V,” Dan murmurs, putting his head in his hands.

“You’re going to be fine, Dan,” Vanessa says. “She looked at _you_ when she said ‘dream boy.’ Besides, I’m scarier than Blair, and if you don’t fess up to her right now, you have me to worry about.”

“Fuck you,” Dan grumbles, but he gives her a small smile anyway. “Wish me luck?”

“Always.” Vanessa smiles. “Go, get your girl.”

_I kick the boy behind to make a little room  
Cassie dances madly like a boxing kangaroo_

Dan approaches Blair, but something makes him stop in his tracks for the umpteenth time that evening. Maybe it’s just the way he can see everyone dancing, the way he’s neither on the dance floor, nor is he onstage in the capacity of a musician that makes him feel more like Lonely Boy than ever. He doesn’t belong here, to anyone.

Blair, on the contrary, belongs here so entirely and fully. She belongs more to music, to the stage, than she ever will to him. He’s about to turn around and walk off, he can’t interrupt her now, but then –

_Hell do I care what I look like when I feel this good_

and the thing is, it’s just another lyric, and she isn’t singing it any differently either, but Dan gets chills.

Blair’s never told him about her eating disorder, but she’s shared every single song she’s written with him, which is a confession in itself. Her self-image, her struggles with food, with her body, with the way she feels always inadequate – her songs concisely and delicately handled all of it, hidden away so cleverly that you wouldn’t see it if you weren’t paying attention.

Dan has always been paying too much attention where Blair’s concerned. He couldn’t have missed this.

Besides, he relates to some of it – feeling like you’re never good enough, not taking care of yourself… he’s definitely been there. He’s never lived through an eating disorder specifically, but the way Blair portrays it, he can almost pretend that he has.

Blair right now is beaming, waving her hands around in the air.

_I'll keep on dancing_

Nate’s hoisted Serena on his shoulders, and Serena’s giggling, her hands perched atop Nate’s head, and Nate looks happier than Dan’s ever seen him.

_I'll keep on dancing_

Dan doesn’t know what he’s doing. He just knows that if he doesn’t do anything, the entire evening will amount to one big almost.

“Blair,” he says, his voice rough.

She smiles at him, shifting her mic away from her mouth.

“Dan,” she says, her voice softer than it usually is.

“Don’t dance with Cassie,” Dan says, solemnly, as if they actually know somebody named Cassie, as if she’s actually going to dance with Blair.

“Who do I dance with, then?” Blair asks, as the instrumental goes on behind them.

“Me, I’d hoped,” Dan says.

“Nuh-uh, nope, nope,” Blair says, shaking her head, but she’s smiling fondly at him. “You’ve got to serenade me first. I can’t be made to do all the work around here.”

Dan laughs. “Fair enough.”

“Oh god, I was kidding!” Blair rolls her eyes. “Humphrey, you’re hopeless.”

“Hopeless, but hoping, like that Mayday Parade song,” Dan begins saying, but Blair pulls at his collar, and kisses him firmly while he’s in the middle of saying the word ‘parade,’ which tragically comes out sounding like “Par –mmmph!”

“Get a room, you two!” Serena yells, but she looks delighted.

 _Finally,_ Nate mouths.

“You’re one to talk, Serena!” Blair yells back.

“Okay, as scintillating as this has been, there are other performances after yours,” Vanessa says, getting up from the piano, and escorting Dan and Blair backstage. “I’m going to sing, try not to make any sex noises near any mics. Think you can handle that?”

That sort of kills the mood, so Dan and Blair just sit down backstage, holding hands. It’s oddly domestic, and Dan can’t get rid of the ridiculous smile on his face, which would be embarrassing, except Blair’s smiling in a similar fashion.

“So, what did you think?” Blair asks.

“You’re a great singer, Blair,” Dan says, softly, honestly. “You have a beautiful voice. But today, it wasn’t just that, it was… you looked so happy up there, on stage. I want to see you that happy always, all the time. I love your music, the way you’re so truthful and genuine in it. And I love you.”

He wonders if it’s too soon, but Blair swats at his arm. “You too, Cabbage Patch, though god knows why.”

After a moment, Blair says, “Is it just me, or is Vanessa a really good singer?”

“Her Mom made her sing choir up until she was like, eleven,” Dan says. “She didn’t like it much, but she’s always been really good at music, and choir practice did wonders. Not that she needed it. Some people – like you and Vanessa – are natural singers.”

“And you?” Blair looks at him, eyes wide.

“No,” Dan says. “I am a painfully average singer. But if you’re asking me to sing, I’ll go next. Any requests?”

Blair smiles. “Know any Radiohead?”

Dan presses his shoulder against hers. “Do I _ever_.” _  
_

**Author's Note:**

> [here's the scene from the movie](https://youtu.be/tdSBmKizdB8), sorry abt the quality, it's the best i could find :/  
> [here's the song without interruptions](https://youtu.be/kKdEzBFpteI). i listened to it on repeat while writing, as you do.  
> i lifted the ["you're the guy from the fight" / "my guitar got it worse" dialogue](https://hirxeth.tumblr.com/post/188020044568/god-help-the-girl-2014-dir-stuart-murdoch) from the movie. there are a few other movie references as well, such as the first time blair sang to dan, which is a reference to the first time eve sings to james. most of this doesn't really matter, i just did it to amuse myself.  
> [here's my tumblr, because i wanted to give you another link for fun. cheers!](https://bisexualdanhumphrey.tumblr.com/)


End file.
